Dating Do's & Don'ts

Does anyone truly like to date? I mean, really get excited about sifting through potential candidates, sussing out neuroses, reading between the lines? I’m not talking about the thrill and anticipation you might feel the day you’re going out with someone new. I’m talking about the nitty-gritty research involved in finding someone who intrigues you. I suppose there are some people who enjoy the hunt. And others who are so confident (or delusional) that they don’t feel as if they’re opening themselves up to humiliation, pain, and suffering—along with sexual tension and the possibility of intense joy. But, by and large, I think, dating rates pretty far down the fun scale.

Dating Do’s & Don’ts

Guys often complain that girls are mysterious, complicated creatures who are difficult to please. In truth, most girls are quite easily pleased from a date one once you know how to make them feel desired and inspired. These 10 tips will ensure you put your best foot where it belongs… forward!

1: A first date should be light, fun and romantic. A real first date is when you’ve both decided that you’d like to get together for more than a quick beverage. The female definition of a first date is this: You pick her up and make reservations. Any deviance from this time-tested formula is usually a red flag, and not what most females consider a proper first date.

Romantic Rule: Your nearest Fast food joint doesn’t count!

2: A long lead time.

Smart guys make plans well in advance. They know that women like to be treated like they’re too in demand to have huge holes in their social calendars, You’ll create romantic tension by giving her several days to look forward to seeing you. Besides, this creates the secret ingredient of seductive success… anticipation.

Romantic Rule: Create romance by planning in advance for it.

3: Actions speak louder than words. Girls know that guys invest in the things that they value with whatever resources they have at their disposal, be it cash, creativity, energy, or enthusiasm. If you make plans that are insultingly casual, it’s a clear sign that you’re withholding your approval from her. Girls will take this lackluster performance seriously, and often shoo you away without further ado. You don’t have to spend big bucks, but if you like her, why not come up with something that will get her telling her girls the next day?

Romantic Rule: The plans you make for her, tell her the plans that you have for her!

4: A confirming call. Being vague about your plans will only cause most women needlessly anxiety. If you guys had any idea about the pre-date regime that girls go through to get ready for a high priority date, you’d all be much more on top of this one. When you call to confirm your first date late, she’ll be irritated and stressed-out even if she doesn’t show it.

Romantic Rule: Being clear about the venue for the first date will avoid the embarrassment of being under or over dressed.

5: A lovebird lands on her doorstop at the appointed time. It’s bad form for a man to keep a girl waiting in general, but especially so on a first date. This often puts women into a state of “dressing disorder.” When guys are late, most girls will just keep changing outfits until the doorbell rings and then be forced to greet you mid-outfit. She’ll then blame this on you, the tardy man, who should’ve arrived on time to avert this crisis!

Romantic Rule: If you’ll be delayed longer than 10 minutes, inform her as soon as you can. Most girls will appreciate extra time to fluff-up before you ring their bell.

6: Signal your attraction and approval immediately.

Guys earn a girl’s affection by consistent care and positive attention. On a first date, and every date, women will look for little clues that signal your desire. No matter how hot or how homely, she’ll want to know that you find her fetching if she’s agreed to spend quality time with you. To do this, quickly toss her a compliment. Try the old standby “You look great” or the new metrosexual classic, “Love your shoes” immediately upon your arrival. You’ll have set a warm and positive tone and scored an easy point.

Romantic Rule: Quickly inspire romance and put her at ease by paying her a compliment.

7: Girls are suckers for a man with a plan. Girls love guys who have the ability to care for them and about them. It’s always a good sign when a man has made reservations because it’s proof that you’re not winging it. When you take control, it’s a signal that she can relax and enjoy herself. The typical girl will also be wary of the guy who asks in a whiny voice what she’d like to do.

Romantic Rule: Girls assume that guys who don’t make reservations for them, have reservations about them!

8: Pick up the bill. If you’re wondering who should pick up the first check. Please consider that girls spend wads of money on first dates: there’s the bikini waxing (painful), manicures, blow drys (time-consuming), lingerie (expensive), and Pilates (ridiculously over-priced). It’s an investment for girls to just show up.

Romantic Rule: The very least you can do is to pick her up and feed her. She’s exhausted!

9: Be a class act. If the date was a dud, don’t weenie out and say “I’ll call you.” Just cut her loose by giving her a quick peck on the cheek and say, “Thanks for coming out tonight. It was great meeting you.” That’ll signal it’s a wrap.

10: Seal the deal. But if she knocked your socks off, walk her to her door, look her in the eyes, say “I had an amazing time tonight” and move in for the perfect a goodnight kis.. If she turns her cheek, don’t despair! She may not be ready for a liplock just yet. Tell her you want to see her again and set up your next date right then and there.

First dates are expensive, time consuming and often disastrous but here are eight tips to ensure that a first date will turn into a second if you’d really like it to:

1: Don’t be negative about dating. Why should a man pursue someone who isn’t happy? It’s ineffective manhandling to dump your dating disappointments on bachelor No. 3.

Talking to a man about how awful dating is just begs the question, “Are you in therapy?”

Romance Rule: Be a romantic challenge, not a mental health challenge.

2: Don’t get drunk. Always maintain enough sobriety to assess your date’s character. Practice restraint, and don’t have more than a few drinks when you’re out on a first date. Otherwise, how in the world can you possibly observe him and decide if he’s Mr. Big? Not to mention the fact that you’ll probably make an idiot of yourself if you get drunk.

Romantic Rule: Always stay sober enough to remember how naughty you were the night before!

3: Don’t talk badly about your exes. I don’t care if he cheated on you with your sister, don’t recite a laundry list of grievances about your exes. This will only make you sound unavailable at best, or worse, wounded.

Reveal your secrets when he is seriously hooked and no that doesn’t mean 3 dates later.

Romantic Rule: We all have baggage. Keep it in the closet on first dates.

4: Don’t spook the guy. Now is not the time to point out your physical flaws. Only bring these complaints to people who can actually do something about them, and not to the guy who will now be forced to lie to you if they possess good manners.

Romantic Rule: Confidence is sexy!

5: Don’t talk about your personal pet peeves.  Keep that for your friends, the typical guy will thing your high maintenance and moany. You’ll have violated the sacred air space of “romantic quality time” and these little monologues of strange pain will be as off-putting as if you started sorting unwashed laundry in a restaurant.

Romantic Rule: You already know all about you. Keep your problems to yourself and get to know him.

6: Don’t chase your date. Never deprive a guy of the thrill of the chase. Besides, it’s so much fun being caught! A woman can always initiate a first coffee date, but after that, it’s up to the guy to decide whether he wants to pursue you. Entice him, flirt and then release him! Allow the guy to initiate and take the lead in moving your relationship forward.

Romantic Rule: When guys chase you, they’re much less likely to fly away.

7: Don’t keep squawking.

Don’t feel pressured to try to fill up every second with meaningless chatter. If the conversation falls silent for a moment, don’t panic, just let it happen. Natural pauses are sexy, and body language can be so much more powerful than words. Slowly smile at him and breathe. You may be surprised when he blurts out in the middle of a deliciously pregnant pause, “Come here and kiss me!”

Romantic Rule: Remember, sometimes less conversation really is more.

8: Learn how to leave. Anyone can be pleasant when they’re enjoying themselves, but the true test of character is how one behaves when terribly bored, or worse, treated shabbily. There’s nothing to be gained by suffering through a terrible date, so if you’re having an awful time, depart quickly and gracefully, without being rude. When you’re itching to leave, say: “Thank you so much for meeting me. I think it’s time for me to go home, I’ve an early start,.” Extend your hand for a quick shake, swiftly turn on your heel and depart.

Romantic Rule: If you’re on date number one and aren’t having fun, release your date back into the wild immediately.

“What happened? I’m so confused. At first, he seemed to really like me. He made reservations, picked me up, and took me to a fabulous restaurant. But for some reason, over the course of dinner, he became a little cold and distant. By the time he dropped me off, he seemed withdrawn and just sped off into the night. I haven’t heard from him since! And I really liked him. I’m so bummed! What do you think happened?”

Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you may have broken some cardinal first-date rules without knowing it.

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